Estate planning for same-sex couples has changed dramatically over the past several decades. Today, legally married same-sex couples generally have the same federal estate planning and tax benefits available to other married couples. But marriage alone is not an estate plan. Whether you are married or unmarried, having the right legal documents in place can provide important protection for you, your spouse or partner, and the people you love.
For LGBTQ+ couples, thoughtful planning can be particularly important when family relationships are complicated, children are involved, or a couple has chosen not to marry.
Marriage Changed the Legal Landscape
For many years, same-sex couples faced a patchwork of state and federal laws that could leave partners without rights that heterosexual married couples often took for granted.
That changed significantly with two landmark U.S. Supreme Court decisions. In United States v. Windsor in 2013, the Court struck down the portion of the Defense of Marriage Act that prevented the federal government from recognizing lawful same-sex marriages. Then, in Obergefell v. Hodges in 2015, the Court held that same-sex couples have a constitutional right to marry and that states must recognize lawful same-sex marriages performed in other states.
Congress provided additional statutory protection with the Respect for Marriage Act in 2022. The law requires the federal government to recognize marriages that were valid where performed and requires states to recognize valid marriages from other states regardless of the spouses’ sex, race, ethnicity, or national origin.
These changes brought significant legal and financial protections to married same-sex couples, including access to federal benefits and tax provisions associated with marriage.
But Marriage Doesn’t Replace an Estate Plan
Getting married provides important legal rights, but it does not answer every question about what should happen if you become incapacitated or die.
Who should make medical decisions for you if you cannot make them yourself? Who should handle your finances? Who should receive particular property? Who should serve as the person responsible for administering your estate? How should an inheritance be managed for children or other beneficiaries?
Without proper planning, state law may make some of these decisions for you—and the result may not reflect what you would have chosen.
A comprehensive estate plan may include a will, trust, financial power of attorney, advance medical directive, beneficiary designations, and other documents appropriate for your circumstances.
Planning Can Be Even More Important for Unmarried Couples
Marriage is a personal decision, and not every couple chooses to marry. But unmarried partners generally do not receive all of the automatic legal protections provided to spouses.
If an unmarried person dies without an estate plan, a surviving partner may not inherit under the state’s intestacy laws. Instead, assets passing through the probate estate could go to relatives according to a statutory order of inheritance.
Incapacity can present similar concerns. Without appropriate documents, a partner may not automatically have authority to manage finances or make certain decisions on the other person’s behalf.
This makes estate planning for same-sex couples who are unmarried particularly important. Legal documents can clearly identify whom you trust to act for you and how you want your property handled.
Family Dynamics Deserve Careful Consideration
Every family is different. Some LGBTQ+ individuals have close and supportive relationships with their extended families. Others may have strained or complicated relationships.
An estate plan allows you to put your wishes in writing rather than leaving important decisions to assumptions or family disagreements.
This can be especially important when children from previous relationships are involved, when one partner owns significantly more property than the other, or when there are concerns that relatives may challenge decisions after a death.
Trust planning may also provide options for balancing different goals—for example, providing for a surviving spouse or partner while preserving assets for children or other beneficiaries.
Don’t Overlook Beneficiary Designations and Asset Ownership
A will or trust is only part of the picture.
Retirement accounts, life insurance policies, payable-on-death accounts, and other assets may transfer according to beneficiary designations rather than the terms of a will. How property is titled can also affect what happens when an owner dies.
That is why an estate plan should be reviewed as a whole. Your legal documents, beneficiary designations, and ownership arrangements should work together rather than unintentionally creating conflicting results.
Major life events—including marriage, divorce, the birth or adoption of a child, the death of a beneficiary, a move to another state, or a significant financial change—are also good reasons to review an existing plan.
Your Estate Plan Should Reflect Your Family
The law has changed significantly, but the fundamental purpose of estate planning has not: making your wishes clear and putting legal arrangements in place for the people and causes that matter to you.
At Tesfaye O’Neill Law and Financial, we understand that families do not all look the same—and estate plans should not either. Your plan should reflect your relationships, your assets, your concerns, and what you want for the future.
Whether you are married, unmarried, starting a family, combining households, or reviewing documents you created years ago, now is a good time to make sure your estate plan still reflects your life.
Contact Tesfaye O’Neill Law and Financial at 703-705-2011 or visit tandalaw.com to schedule a consultation. Let’s discuss where you are today, what matters most to you, and how your estate plan can help protect the people you love.
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